How Does Group Therapy Help?

I would argue that the reduction of shame is perhaps the most profound benefit of group therapy for gay men.

Healing Shame

From an early age, many gay men internalize feelings of “otherness.” We are often told that being gay makes us different from our peers, or even worse, demonized for our sexuality. We may hear that being gay is unnatural or sinful. These messages often lead to a deep-seated internalized homophobia that can persist long after we come out. Even as adults, many gay men continue to face societal stigma and discrimination and can carry a sense of shame and self-loathing. This can manifest in isolation, avoidance of group settings, and a reluctance to be vulnerable or authentic with others. According to Brené Brown, shame can drive perfectionism, harsh self-criticism, and emotional numbing, making it harder to seek support or engage in authentic relationships. These toxic traits contribute to mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, and addiction, while also hindering personal growth. By addressing shame through self compassion and vulnerability, individuals can break these cycles and foster connection and healing.

In group therapy, participants have the chance to confront and begin to heal from this shame by sharing their experiences with others who truly understand and empathize.

Non-Sexual Relationships

A particular challenge for many gay men is forming and maintaining non-sexual relationships with other gay men. In a world where much of the social landscape is sexualized, it can be difficult for gay men to separate friendship from attraction. This overlap between sex and friendship is more common than most might think. For many gay men, past experiences may blur the lines between the two, leading them to struggle with how to form meaningful, non-sexual connections with others in the community. Group therapy offers an opportunity to explore these dynamics in a setting that emphasizes genuine connection and respect, rather than sexual attraction.

Mutual Understanding

One of the most powerful aspects of group therapy for gay men is the sense of mutual understanding that exists within the group. There are certain topics—like navigating non-monogamy, using hook-up apps, dealing with body image issues, or growing up in the closet—that only another gay man can truly understand. While there are allies outside of the community who may be knowledgeable about these issues, only another gay man can truly grasp the nuances of these experiences. In an affirmative space with other gay men, participants can find comfort and validation without needing to explain themselves in detail. This shared experience is what makes group therapy so healing—it allows gay men to be seen and heard without the need for explanation or defense.

Let’s Talk About Sex

Gay men are often defined by their sexual orientation, but it is important to note that being gay is not synonymous with being defined solely by sex. However, sexuality is a central part of the gay male experience, and as such, many gay men want a space where they can discuss their sexual experiences, desires, and challenges without fear of judgment. Topics such as bottoming, the use of substances like poppers, or experiences in bathhouses may not be appropriate or comfortable to discuss in mixed-gender groups or with straight individuals. Group therapy specifically for gay men creates a safe environment to talk openly about sexual health and experiences, allowing for deeper self-reflection and emotional growth.

If being a part of a therapy group for gay men sounds like it could be therapeutic for you, please sign up to reserve your seat. We will schedule a consultation to discuss further and assess if the group sounds like it could be a fit for you.